Here's what happened: I dreamed that evil, highly-intelligent dinosaurs had come to earth to conquer humanity. Like Jurassic Park, but much, MUCH worse!
I was one of a few who held the secret to their demise, but they had stripped away all of our defenses and were able to find us and objects they needed from us in order to conquer the world. I'm pretty sure these objects had something to do with the Deathly Hallows (thanks Harry Potter), and I'm also pretty sure I was a mermaid at some point. Sweeeet.
So, I was in hiding! But then they captured all of us, and started to try to gather our secrets and take us back to the place where they could kill us and begin their conquering. In the course of this, naturally, we revolted! I'm pretty sure I beat someone up REAL good, and broke his nose (in my dreams I'm always a total badass). But then they captured us again (jerks!), and decided that they were going to torture me and break MY nose in return.
But then, through a course of events that involved us revolting again and humanity (which included Dre) coming to our aid, we beat them! AND I got to retain my normally-shaped nose, though I was a little worse for the wear. Dre came and got me, and I was safe and happy and fulfilled and victorious.
Now, I'm fully aware that I dream like a 13-year-old boy, but I woke up this morning thinking this dream betrayed something deeper than that.
It's as if, in the deepest part of my mind, there's this undercurrent of longing for adventure, battles, daring rescues, epic fights -- epic life, really. I might even call it more than an undercurrent; I might call it an unseen reality. Am I really fighting dinosaurs and embodying the Deathly Hallows and breaking people's noses? Well, no, not in the strictest sense. But -- I'm trying to write about this without being completely cliche -- there is an element of the lives and hearts of humanity, of my life and heart, that is engaged in a conflict. There's something about my world that echoes that eternal, epic struggle of good versus evil...or, if you will, of horrific and brilliant dinosaurs versus badass mermaids who break people's noses. Though this reality is chiefly unseen for me, what I understand from the Word and from the world that I live in is that it is still a reality. And, because of my state in Jesus Christ, my soul has taken a definite stance in that struggle. Further, and also because of my state in Jesus Christ, my soul is always wanting to be a part of that struggle.
There's a desire for bigger life within me. I think it has to do with the reality that I am not fulfilled by the immediate reality of the life of my body on this earth. I think it has to do with the fact that there is another dimension to my existence, and that dimension is engaged in a beautiful, terrible, epic struggle. I think it has to do with the fact that, ultimately, one of the things I desire most in life is to be a badass follower of Jesus Christ. Now I know that's crass, but that's the most confrontational way I can think to express the state of my soul and its ferocity of desire towards the life I've been given.
"Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire."
I know there are still things on the earth that can be shaken; but I know I belong to the kingdom that cannot be. I think the "now and not yet" is part of the reason why I have dreams like this, and desires that echo these dreams. At least, the more general desires that these dreams represent -- I don't really have a strong desire to break anyone's nose.
But I do want to be a badass in the kingdom.
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