Life isn't always what you thought it would be, you know? Big events don't take place like you thought, happenings don't happen like you wished, and things just don't always turn out exactly "right". It's tough to walk the line between trusting the Lord to bring these things together in time, and wondering if things are going wrong because of disobedience. Life is just not as simple as I anticipated. Following God isn't as cut-and-dry as I envisioned. Love and happiness are not as purely sweet as I thought, free from any difficulty or bittersweetness. Trust is not as automatic as I wish it was.
That's hard.
I suppose my heart just hurts a little today. It's easy to trust and push forward when things are going well, when the way is clear and when things line up just as they should. But maybe deep trust requires these times of groping in the dark, shuffling forward inch-by-inch and hoping you're ok. I just wish things were clearer, brighter, happier all around. But there's nothing for it but to keep moving forward -- asking for the Lord's help, trusting Him to speak in the here and now, and realizing first-hand how bittersweet life often is.
Lord, help me navigate these waters.
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