...

Tonight is hard.

I miss Dre, I miss my family, I miss L.A., I miss feeling at home.

Facebook and Skype just isn't the same...Spain is sick, but tonight my heart is a little sad. I've been thinking a lot lately about what you have to give up to do what my sister does -- to transport yourself into another culture, to learn another language, to give up both "home" and yourself in a sense. I've felt that pretty strongly in the short time I've been here - I can't think of a more literal concept for the idea of losing your life to save it. To follow the Lord, you give up your ability to communicate (at least for a time, and even in my week and a half it's been rough), a sense of comfort that you took for granted before, and even yourself. Not that you become someone else or are called to misery...but for a time you lose your ability to relate to people on the basis of language - a pretty big deal.

But the difficulty in my heart and mind is also bringing clarity in those places. The Lord is working it for good, I know - it just get a little tough to trust in the in-between time.