Life as a Bird

As I was beginning to fall asleep last night, in my mind's eye I was seeing birds.

And I began to think about what a "flapper" I am.  There are lots of currents in life, lots of things that push me around.  That's just life - there will always be emotions, situations, and happenings that gust through my skies and ruffle my feathers.  My response to these things is usually to flap wildly, attempting to right my skies by taming the gusts of wind.  Needless to say, this attempt is unequivocally unsuccessful.  I am never able to control the gusts, never able to appropriately navigate the things that push me around.  

So, as I realized how superfluous and utterly unsuccessful my wild flapping is, I began to think about my alternatives.  I prayed with someone yesterday about a big gust - a terrible situation in their life that simply won't go away and, quite frankly, cannot be "navigated".  All I could think to pray was peace; not as a nice, "cross your fingers" emotion, but as it is with God - strong, active, and able to overcome anything.  So last night, as I drifted off to sleep, I began to consider what that means in my own life (novel concept, right?  Actually living out myself what I pray for others?).  My tendency is to try to navigate the gusts of life on my own, whether by wild flapping or by desperately grasping at a peace that is less than the peace for which I prayed with my friend.  But I realize that neither of these things will actually enable me to navigate the gusts in my skies with success.  As much as I want to simply glide on these unavoidable gusts, all my best efforts only lead to a wild flapping.  The more I think about it, the more I realize with unshakeable certainty that no constancy of affection, no predisposed amount of accolades, no solidity of friendship will ever lead me to a state of mind and heart in which I can successfully glide upon the gusts in my skies.  

There is only one peace that can actually do that - and I've got to pursue it.  It's taking me a while, but I've got to learn it.  I've got to get it right, because I don't want to spend my whole life flapping.